Hanoi, Hue, Ho Chi Minh, Hoi An, humanity, horns, honking, hovering, hammering, haze, haunting…the soundtrack of traffic in Vietnam.

Toots and motorbikes surround us on a honking Hanoi street as we bravely contemplate stepping out into the oncoming traffic in Vietnam. We don’t look left or right but instead directly ahead and careful to not make any sudden movements, we steadily walk in a straight line as though we are being tested for drunken behaviour. Given our mad jaunt onto the road, doubting our sobriety would have been perfectly reasonable; if we had been anywhere else in the world other than Vietnam. The traffic parts like the Red Sea, and as quickly as it opens, the gap fills like water flowing rapidly into a jagged stream.

To think only 24 hours earlier as we descended, I had been so excited to see the crazy intersections with their weaving traffic in Vietnam. In a population of 84 million people, there are approximately 16 million motorbikes, and from the plane window, it looked as if there was a good portion of this number directly below.  I had naively thought how serene it looked. Like a ballet where the dancers have rehearsed their routines so well they could perform blindfolded, only here their masks are worn over their noses and mouths. Of course, the performance I saw from above was executed in silence, apart from the acoustics of the plane.

It’s like the city has given birth to a million horns and every newborn is crying at the same time to be fed.

Now out on the street and in the midst of all the action, the honking is relentless day and night overpowering the sounds of humanity, traffic, jackhammers and sirens.  Honks compete to be heard above each other. I don’t mind the one echoing until its tone softens into silence but there’s one that sounds like a trumpet, another has a jazzy tune similar to the Pink Panther theme, and there’s the truck horn which unnerves even the most stoic of people, especially when they discover the bellowing is not coming from a huge vehicle but from a motorbike.  Of course, there’s also the driver who has his hand permanently on the horn. I wonder how anyone knows who the horns are meant for.

Perhaps part of the problem is our timing. We are still under the graceful spell of Hoi An in central Vietnam, a magical place lit by lanterns and ladies on bicycles. During our visit, the river burst its banks, turning the streets into canals, and as the water-lined streets flickered with candlelight, the sunset bathed us in a rose-coloured glow. But here the only thing the streets in Hanoi are streaming with is motorbikes, taxis and cyclo-drivers. The pavements are full of merchants, eateries and more motorbikes using the sidewalk for parking. The streets are lined with Vespa boutiques and vehicle repair shops and even the ground floors of many of the buildings are used for parking.

In Hanoi, a blanket hangs over the city, but it’s not there to snuggle up to; it’s more like something to throw off in a fit of restless sleep. Motor vehicles emit a toxic stew, and I later learned the city smog in Vietnam’s major cities can be as thick as a mile. And given that we can’t see one block away from our apartment on the 18^th floor, I can believe this.

The sound of yelping dogs joins in with the cacophony below. We guess they are also victims of the traffic and the yelps abruptly cease as the poor creatures are put out of their misery.  Our hotel sits on the site of Hoa Lo Prison, also known as the Hanoi Hilton. Much of the original structure was demolished, as though removing most of the prison would eradicate those crimes of war committed on the very spot we rest our heads. What remains of the prison is full of propaganda and includes images of American soldiers having a fabulous time laughing and playing cards.  Now, the citizens of Hanoi have been condemned to a lifetime of imprisonment in pollution.

Vietnam is an intriguing and complex country, and I’m sure I will visit again, especially to the tranquil centre. For how long these heavenly places will exist is worrying, which gives me a sense of urgency to return. On first impression much of the country’s beauty is hidden, just out of reach to the tourist on a fleeting visit. Yet, it is as seductive as a Vietnamese woman, with her haunting eyes peaking out above a protective face mask. She is barely saved from the hovering haze, much as tourists are merciless under the spell of her mysterious charm.

For another perspective of Vietnam, you can read all about what cruising the Mekong is really like when taking a boutique cruise with CF Mekong Cruises or if you’re wondering how to get to Vietnam, check out my review of VietJet Air. And for more information about travel in Vietnam, go to Visit Vietnam.

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Cruising down the Mekong on my virgin voyage into the world of cruising was an unforgettable experience that I just had to share on Travel Writers Radio with Graeme Kemlo. G&T’s at sunset, Angkor Wat at sunrise and meeting some of the happiest people I’ve ever encountered were just a couple of the highlights of this 8-day Mekong cruise from Siem Reap to Ho Chi Minh City aboard the Toum Tiou II with CF Mekong Cruises by Croisi Europe.

Credit: CF Mekong Cruises

Ta Prohm temple, aka Tomb Raider temple

Our tour officially began in Siem Reap, where we spent two nights at the Regency Angkor Hotel and went on an unforgettable temple hop to Angkor Wat, Angkor Thom, and Ta Prohm. We also visited the Artisans dÁngkor art centre, which supports young artists from Cambodia’s rural areas, and the lively Pub Street, where crunching on barbequed tarantula and washing it down with beer isn’t that uncommon.

The following day we transferred to Koh Chen and settled into our cabins aboard the Toum Tiou II, which included ensuites and air-conditioning, a luxury that I was eternally grateful for as it gets pretty steamy in this part of the world.

Mr Ry and Smiley – possibility the happiest people on earth?

On day two of our Mekong cruise, we set sail to Kampong Chhang on Tonle Sap Lake and visited Andong Russey Pottery Community, where I met one of the happiest people on earth—Mr Ry. His ecstatic disposition may have something to do with the rice wine he and his wife make. Or maybe he is just high on life, especially when shimming up palm trees to collect the sap to make palm sugar, which is sold alongside the handmade pottery this village is famous for.

Colourful fishing villages along the Mekong

On day three, we took an oxcart to Wat Kampong Tralach Leu Pagoda, adorned with murals of daily life, where a monk blessed us. We set sail to Camodia’s ancient capital, Udong, and had a fascinating chat with one of the nuns who lives at the Vipassana Dhura Buddhist Meditation Centre. Mind you, it was a very quiet chat because we had arrived during prayer time. After wandering through the centre past ornate temples and handcrafted homes placed around a tranquil lake, I began to understand the appeal of meditation and why many nuns and monks dedicate themselves to this centre.

The sparkly Royal Palace, Phnom Penh

The following day, we steamed into the sparkly lights of Phnom Penh and visited the shiny Royal Palace before exploring the Art Deco Central Market, back streets and elegant French Quarter for a peek into the daily lives of local Cambodians. As the capital of Phnom Penh, I highly recommend taking more time here before joining the cruise and visiting the Killing Fields and former school Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum, aka S21. I won’t sugarcoat it. This is a confronting and upsetting experience, but I feel you can’t visit the city without paying tribute to those who made the ultimate sacrifice. If you spend more time in Phnom Penh, the Anik Palace Hotel offers very comfy beds and a rooftop bar for epic sunsets.

Anik Palace Hotel, Phnom Penh

We crossed the border the next day, and the staff took care of the formalities on our behalf as the Mekong became busier, functioning as a watery highway and leaving behind the Cambodia’s colourful fishing villages. We arrived in Tra Su Forest and took a motorboat and rowboat through this stunning biodiverse area before heading to Chau Doc to take a cable car up Sam Mountain for incredible views of the verdant landscape where Cambodia meets Vietnam.

Where Cambodia and Vietnam meet from Sam Mountain

The next day I wondered if unicorns do exist when we visited Unicorn Island (aka Thoi Son), famous for its honey and sampan rides through the mangrove lined canals.

Looking for unicorns on Unicorn Island, aka Thoi Son

Sailing into Ho Chi Minh at sunset was a spectacular way to arrive. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, we transferred to Vespas to zip through the city of over seven million motorbikes with Urban Venture Tours. Cultural immersion was planned for our final couple of days as we visited the Reunification Palace, War Remnants Museum, Notre Dame Cathedral, Post Office, City Square, Opera House, Giac Lam Pagoda and Chinatown made all the more vibrant as Luna New Year celebrations adorned the city, along with young women posing in traditional Vietnamese outfits for photos – given the crowds, I suspect they made history by breaking Instagram that day.

Posing for Luna New Year in front Ben Thanh Markets, Ho Chi Minh City

I was fortunate enough to spend a few more days exploring Ho Chi Minh City. If you’re basing yourself in the vibrant District 1, I highly recommend staying at the grand Hotel Majestic Saigon. But here’s a tip: opt for a room on one of the higher floors, as there is a nightclub next door pumping until the wee hours.

Giac Lam Pagoda, the oldest pagoda in Ho Chi Minh City

Vietjet conveniently flies between most Australian capital cities, including direct flights from Perth to Ho Chi Minh City. It’s definitely worth upgrading to SkyBoss class, Vietjet’s answer to Premium Economy, for a dedicated check-in counter, lounge access, care packs (I always love a snuggly blanket when flying), meal inclusions, and seats at the front of the plane. Please read my full review of my flight here so you, too, can fly like a boss.

Here’s a link to my review of CF Mekong Cruises on Tripadvisor

Full disclosure: I was an indulgent guest of CF Mekong Cruises, Anik Palace, Regency Angkor Hotel, and VietJet. Here is my review of the Mekong cruise on Tripadvisor.

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