Melbourne’s eclectic bar scene covers the cool, the cold, the cosy and the chemical.

What does Nick Cave, a monkey, a bar made of ice, and a corset have in common? A hurly burly bar-hop in Melbourne! Melburnians are spoilt for choice when aching for a bevy, and they all have their favourites. Out-of-towners however may find the options overwhelming and it seriously is enough to drive you to drink, if only you can choose where to go! Here are a few recommendations to help you along the way.

You could be mistaken for thinking you’ve stumbled into someone’s lounge room at the Red Monkey Tea House, especially with the kitsch forest wallpaper in the cosy room behind the bar. The zen-like vibe conjures up oriental illusions, which may explain the “Red Monkey” part of the name. Originally a teahouse it has evolved into a low-key bar, and depending on the occasion, serving laid-back beers or lethal cocktails. The menu is fun and cheap with pan-fried calamari or the thin-crust pizza both at $10.00; and lining the stomach is advisable for what’s to follow.

It’s reported that Nick Cave once frequented Prudence, but the bar-staff insist he actually drank at the grungy local across the road. Everyone loves gossip and his tunes are belted out alongside Tom Waits’ anyway. The intimate booths, beaded curtaining and nooks and crannies of this rambling pub lend themselves to secrets. Downed with unpretentious service, the usual concoctions, and open seven days a week, Prudence is worth a visit if only to explore the intimate spaces and start your own rumours.

It’s time to jump on tram and head to Elizabeth St in the heart of the city and get to work at The Workshop. Housed in a former motorcycle repair shop, it accommodates large numbers which keeps it buzzing, but with so many secret corners all is not lost for a rendezvous any day of the week. Urban, and so very “now”, the industrial space caters to dancing, live performances, art exhibits, light lunches, or creative-types craving the art of conversation, even if it is with their notebooks; of the old-fashioned and modern variety.

Movida has been keeping gourmet bar-flies satiated for years with its tapas, Spanish sherries, beers and wines. Look away if you’re hungry: slow cooked duck shank with hazelnuts, raisins and onions, wet roast lamb breast with fino and paprika sauce, aged jamon, silky croquettes, and churros feature on the menu. Always packed and often a queue, patrons don’t mind waiting with a bevy in hand and with the opening of three other Movidas around town, including Movida Next Door (which is next door), you don’t need to go far for your fix of Spain.

Feeling a little hot under the collar? A drink at the Ice Bar is sure to cool you down. Pull up a pew on the ice couch and admire the ice sculptures as you sip your drinks in glasses made of, you guessed it, ice. Yes, at minus 10 degrees, it’ll be cold but once snuggled up in the provided ski gear and a hot toddy, the night will be memorable if only for the chance to live like an Eskimo for the recommended half an hour, before thawing out upstairs in the Ski Lodge.

If that wasn’t weird enough for you, in the laneways of Melbourne an experiment occurred between a bar and a science laboratory. A chemical reaction, and then voila, the The Croft Institute was born. Spread over three floors, test tubes, beakers, and industrial sinks set the funky asylum tone, after all its cool to be little crazy. Upstairs brings back awkward high school memories with a school gymnasium where groovers bop along to international acts and DJs spinning their tunes. Navigating the darkened laneways to find this joint is an adventure worth taking, even to just check out the turf growing on the bar.

Practicalities:

Red Monkey Teahouse, 470 Victoria St, North Melbourne; (03) 9326 7572; www.redmonkeyteahouse.com;

Prudence, 368 Victoria St, (03) 9329 9267

The Workshop, Level 1, 413 Elizabeth St (entrance A’Beckett St), (03) 9326 4365, www.theworkshop.com.au

Movida, 1 Hosier Lane, Melbourne; Movida Next Door, cnr Flinders St and Hosier Lane, Melbourne; Movida Aqui and Movida Terraza, Level 1, 500 Bourke St, Melbourne; (03) 9663 3038; www.movida.com.au

Ice Bar, 296 Russell St, Melbourne; 1300 423 227 or (03) 9663 3877; www.chillon.com.au

The Croft Institute, 21 Crofty Alley, Chinatown; (03) 9671 4399; www.thecroftinstitute.net; best to check the web-site for directions on how to find it

Burlesque Bar, 42 Johnston St, Fitzroy; (03) 9415 8088; www.burlesquebar.com.au

Red Bennies, Level 1, 373 Chapel Street, South Yarra; (03) 9826 2689; www.redbennies.com

House of Burlesque, 397A Brunswick St, Fitzroy; (03) 9417 1192; www.houseofburlesque.com

Bottoms Up Burlesque, 3 Pitt St, Brunswick; 0411 119 956 (Willow) or 0402 689 355 (Jacquie); www.buburlesque.com.au

The Australian Burlesque Festival also tours to other capitals and check out the web-site to keep updated for the next festival in 2012. www.australianburlesquefest.com

Published in Asian Geographic Passport November 2011

NOW AVAILABLE AT DYMOCKS KARRINYUP & SUBIACO, BODHI TREE & PLANET BOOKS FOR $20

ALSO AT KALM WELLNESS CENTRE WITH TRAVEL TOWELS FOR $40 

I will also have a stall at the Festival of Christmas markets at the Perth Cultural Centre on 9th December. Well done to  Events and Beyond for utilising Perth’s public spaces with cultural events  http://eventsandbeyond.com.au/

My travel memoir, Fluffy Towel Travels was launched on 21st October at Quinlan’s Cafe Fremantle in a flurry of wine, tales, beauty, breasts, and art. An enormous thanks to Shiona Herbert and her Breastique Art crew for arranging the event which drew 200+ punters through the door and raised funds for Breast Cancer Care WA. http://www.breastiqueart.com/

The light-hearted travel memoir takes the reader to Bali, Paris, Sri Lanka, Broome, Vietnam, Shanghai, and tells a quirky story about why I don’t like camping. Because I appreciate your support, here’s a sneaky peek…

“A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-bogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can’t see it, it can’t see you); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitchhiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitchhiker might accidentally have “lost”. What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with.”– Douglas Adams, Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

While travel is certainly an eye-opening experience and can often lead to an incurable wanderlust, it’s not a right or a need. You won’t die if you don’t visit Angkor Wat. I haven’t visited the Taj Mahal yet and I’m fine. Travel is a privilege, and when faced with the extreme you’ll understand this better than ever and feel blessed for having the opportunity to leave behind the trappings of the mundane. Or it will leave you clinging onto the knowledge that you can return to the regularity of home. Either way, you’ll end up with an appreciation of travel, even if it’s to never leave home again.

Apart from a sense of humour and an open mind, you’ll need a towel through-out the duration of your journey. Sometimes the towels won’t be fluffy as my chapter on “When to ditch the fluffy towel,” demonstrates. Although perhaps you actually enjoy the challenge of roughing it, there is no harm if you do, unless your roommates object; if a room does in fact exist.

I may never understand the appeal of sleeping on the ground or sharing a room with smelly strangers, especially when there are perfectly good beds and hot showers with fluffy towels available. Travel already takes you out of your comfort zone. No longer exists the routine, the familiarity of home, or your friends and family; unless you’ve brought them along. The language and currency could be different; the food may be strange, even the smells will seem odd. A bit of comfort will make you a more agreeable travelling companion and allow you to cope better with whatever you’re confronted with on your travels. After all, travel consists of a lot more than magical nights, awe-inspiring monuments, and astounding views. You never know when you’re going to encounter a “strag”, lay your towel upon a bed with questionable linen, wrap it around yourself for warmth or modesty, or for something as practical as drying yourself.

At some point in time, you’ll return home refreshed and with a greater appreciation for all the reasons you left in the first place. In the meantime, and until you save up for your next adventure, please share your experiences, especially the awful and embarrassing ones, because let’s face it, they make the best stories.
Tell me all about your weird and wonderful encounters at carmen@fluffytowel.com and keep up-to-date with mine at www.fluffytowel.com.

And don’t forget a man (or a woman, child, or other) with a towel is a force to be reckoned with; especially a fluffy one on inter-galactic travels.

Wine, beauty, boobs, and travel…honestly, what could be more enticing? Please come along to this open event on the 21st October as the proceeds go to Breast Cancer Care WA…I’m also launching my book Fluffy Towel Travels…and there’s plenty of tantalising surprises in store too!

by Carmen Jenner

Some of the finest, least populated beaches anywhere can be found on the newly peaceful island of Sri Lanka in the Indian Ocean.

Foreigners, burquas, and children bob along to the rhythm of boats along the curvaceous bay of Unawatuna. The scents of coconut oil, incense, diesel, sunscreen, salt, and curry flirt with abandon in the gentle breeze. The idyllic scene is complete with swaying palm trees and sauntering bikini-clad bodies glistening in the humidity. Yet, the very sea that surrounds the tear-drop island of Sri Lanka is both friend and foe.

Etched in our memories is the tsunami of 2004. However, Sri Lanka’s catastrophic relationship with water dates back to the biblical times of the Ramayana and the belief that the ruins of an Atlantis-like city sleeps just off the south coast. Long time resident of the island and science fiction author Arthur C. Clarke wrote about a tidal wave hitting Galle harbour in one of his earliest works, referenced in 1957 in The Reefs of Traprobane. A run through his impressive list of titles (which includes 2001: A Space Odyssey) it’s clear he was so inspired by the island, named Ceylon at the time of his arrival in 1954, that he remained until his death in 2008. There is a theory that due to gravitational anomalies of the south coast of the island, there is an intense gravitational pull to the area. Fact or fiction? As a second time visitor to this magical region, I have to admit that during the 12 months between visits, I often found myself longing to return.

WET

Unawatuna translates as “it fell from the sky” and this heaven-sent beach hosts makeshift cafes, bars, guesthouses, and water sports like diving, snorkelling, fishing, boating and swimming. Snorkelling equipment can be hired along the beach and the reefs near the west end can be explored year round. There are several shipwrecks and marine life to see, and diving trips can be organised with Sea Horse Divers, who also offer diving courses, night dives, reef dives, and wreck dives. The Unawatuna Diving Centre also runs diving services and offers beach-side cabanas for an affordable beach shack experience. The best time to dive is mid October to the end of April and the double reef makes it very safe for swimming and a favourite with families.

However, the tsunami continues its devastation as Unawatuna slowly erodes away, but a revitalisation program is scheduled to commence in 2011 which will preserve this paradise for many years to come. Unawatuna isn’t only famous for its beautiful beach and since it’s surrounded by hillside jungle, treks are popular, especially on the west end of the beach near the temple across the Rumassala peninsula to Jungle Beach, which can only be reached by foot or boat. Just a few kilometres to the west of Unawatuna is the town of Galle and its charming UNESCO listed fort. Its walls protected it from the tsunami and not only preserved its beautiful Dutch architecture, but also the working community of administrative offices, local families, street peddlers, businesses, and expatriates. See the break-out box for more on the Galle Fort.

Heading east along the coast are the laid-back towns Ahangama and Midigama, which are best known for their consistent waves thanks to the many rocks and coral however, at times the conditions can be hazardous. There’s an area at Midigama commonly known as Lazy Left, which bends around the rocks and onto the bay, but it’s at Ram’s Right, a few hundred metres down that draws the experienced surfers to the region.

Continuing east is the town of Weligama (meaning Sandy Village) best known for its clay handicrafts, colourful outriggers in the sapphire bay, and the tiny Traprobane Island. Indulge in some barefoot luxury and rent out the only house, a five bedroom mansion, on the island and live like the auspicious bevy of adventurers, authors, artists, and royalty before you. The only way on or off the island is to wade through the crashing waves at low tide but soggy underwear is a small price to pay for a visit to this magical island.

Imagine a coconut paradise where you long to escape to with your loved ones? Your wish may be granted a few kilometres east of Weligama at Marissa Beach. Bordering on the surreal in the beauty stakes, the golden sands are lined with palm trees and are the epitome of the kind island where you’d love to be deserted. Between November and March, Marissa attracts plenty of surfers and the clear water, reefs and rocks make the snorkelling excellent. The currents are strong though and it’s wise to find out which places are the safest to surf and swim. Girigala Rock, at the eastern end of the bay, has small reefs ideal for snorkelling, fishing and to witness that infamous Indian sunset. The sleepy town is relatively undeveloped and most facilities can be found a few kilometres away at the busy commercial town of Matara.

Still heading east along the coast is the quiet beach town Dickwella, which many pass by as it’s often overshadowed by the better known beaches. Several hotels and resorts have popped up here and just a few kilometres east at Kudawela is Sri Lanka’s only known blow-hole, Hoo-maniya. High seas force water to shoot up into the air over 20 metres through a chimney.

The competition for who has the most beautiful beach continues at Tangalle, particularly at the coves of Goyambokka, Medaketiya or Marakolliya Beach. Your footprints might blissfully be the only ones in the sand. It would be easy to collapse onto one of these idyllic beaches and not move until the monsoon season (April to September) rains on your parade. However, it’s worth the effort to visit Hambantota to see what a fishing town in Sri Lanka was like before tourism hit. Hambantota won’t remain in this untouched state for long though since it is the hometown of President Mahinda Rajapaksa and an international port and airport, railway line and highway from Colombo will provide easy access to the south coast.

Get wordy in the Galle Fort For an insight into the Galle Fort read Around the fort in 80 lives, by Juliet Coombe and Daisy Perry. Available in selected bookshops and with other Sri Lankan titles http://www.sriserendipity.com/purchase_books.html For budding writers, time your visit to Galle with the Galle Literary Festival, known as the festival of choice for the international literati www.galleliteraryfestival.com What’s so refreshing about the intimate festival is how accessible the authors are and you could find yourself mingling with the literary greats as if they are old friends.

WILD

Until the new highway and railway line are operational, the most common way to the south is to drive from Colombo along the south-west coast. On your way down, about halfway between Colombo and Galle, is the Kosgoda Sea Turtle Conservation Project. Since 1988, the project has been dedicated to conserving and protecting the five species of turtles that lay eggs along the coast. Holding a cute baby turtle will delight all ages and studying the older turtles can become mesmerising so don’t plan to rush away from this rustic beach-side affair. Further south near Tangalla, on Rekawa Beach you can see green, hawksbill, and on occasion leatherback turtles. All proceeds go to the Turtle Conservation Project and for a unique experience, there are volunteering programmes available.

From November to May, Blue whales and dolphins can be seen frolicking off the coast of Mirissa and nearby Dondra. Sightings are plentiful as these magnificent creatures feast on the abundant food source found off the coast. Given their frequency to the area and the numbers regularly registered there is some debate about whether the whales are residents or migrants, or possibly both? There are several operators in the area and the Sri Lankan Navy also offers tours with Jetline Nautical Enterprises. Jetwing Eco Holidays are the longest standing operator of eco tourism, and come highly recommended for whale watching.

Yala National Park is cradled in the far eastern corner of the south and covers approximately 1297 square kilometres. It has a range of ecosystems including wetlands and sandy beaches, and is known for its extensive bird life (over 100 species), elephants, water buffalo, wild boar, jackals, sloth bears, deer, monkeys, water monitors, crocodiles, and the highest density of leopards in the world. The park closes between September and October and the best time to visit is during the dry season between May and August; especially as elephants don’t like to get their feet wet and will head to higher ground or use bushes as makeshift umbrellas when it’s wet. There are several tour operators including Eco Team Pvt Ltd who can also arrange unforgettable overnight adventures.

On first glance, an island is defined by water, whether it’s streaming from above or crashing into its extremes. Sri Lanka is no exception and is teeming with stunning beaches and coves, and no-one would mind or blame you if flopping on the beach is all you did. But interacting with the land and its people will be only the beginning of a life-long affair with an island so rich in beauty, culture, wildlife, and history, most of which seem to somehow connect with water. The monsoon season dictates the best time to visit certain regions, but the rain also brings enchanting surprises like butterflies feasting on the nutrients found in mud puddles left from jeep tracks or elephants playing in a mud bath. The south, west and east coasts were decimated by the tsunami, and the north has been ravaged by war. The aftermath of these tragedies are still evident both in the land and etched into the faces of the locals, most of whom are willing to share their own personal experiences or at least reward you with a kilo-watt smile. Sri Lanka is like those grains of sand that seem to seep into the most unlikely of crevices after a visit to the beach. Virtually impossible to instantly remove, but by the time they are washed away, you’ll be left with an everlasting salty taste on your lips beckoning you to return.

Sea Horse Divers, Ganahena, Unawatuna, www.seahorsedivinglanka.com +94 77 6277 622, +94 91 2283 733

Unawatuna Diving Centre, Matara Road, Peellagoda, Unawatuna, Galle, +94 (0) 91 22 44 693 (English), +94 (0) 777 90 34 30 (German and English) www.unawatunadiving.com

For a daily surfing report go to http://magicseaweed.com/Unawatuna-Bay-Surf-Report/654/

Traprobane Island, Weligama, +94 91 43 80 275, www.traprobaneisland.com

Kosgoda Sea Turtle Conservation Project, Galle Road, Mahapelena, Kosgoda, +94 91 22 64 567, +94 77 60 07 302 www.kosgodaseaturtle.org

Turtle Conservation Project www.tcpsrilanka.org

Dickwella Resort, Dickwella, +94 41 22 55 271 www.dickwella.net

Jetliner Nautical Enterprise, jetlinersln@gmail.com, +94 113 134 774, www.jetliner.navy.lk

Jetwing Eco Holidays, Jetwing House, 46/26 Navam Mawatha, Colombo 2, +94 11 238 1201 or +94 11 234 5700, www.jetwingeco.com

Eco Team Pvt Ltd, No. 20/43 Fairfield Gardens, Colombo 8, +94 (0) 11 58 30 833, +94 (0) 11 58 35 893, www.srilankaecotourism.com

Published in part in Asian Geographic Passport No. 13 Issue 2/2011 Get Wet in Asia!

WELCOME to The Not So Amazing Race. The first part of the Joneses’ challenge is to gain access to an apartment for their stay in Paris. The Jones family comprises of husband and wife, Jason and Simone, and three-year-old Jessica.*

None of the Jones family will speak French on this leg of the race. The final challenge is teamwork. Will Jason and Simone make it to the end as a married couple? Their prize is a month’s use of the apartment that has cost an exorbitant amount to rent. Plus, Jason and Simone win a lifelong commitment, although this is optional, and they may prefer to donate each other to the charities of their choice.

ROUND ONE: Members of the jet-lagged Jones family wearily approach their Parisian apartment building in the sweltering summer heat. Although Jason has lost his wallet twice since leaving Australia, as part of the challenge he has been entrusted with responsibility of the apartment keys. "They were in here somewhere," he says, frantically pulling coins and scraps of paper out of his pockets.

After calling the rental agency, the answering service informs Jason that the office doesn’t open until Monday morning. It’s Saturday afternoon. A French family buzz themselves into the building. They smile sympathetically and hold the door open for the irritated couple.

In the apartment foyer Jason and Simone argue, also known as using the detour card. Simone suggests a hotel with air-conditioning and cocktails until Monday. Instead, Jason consults their bemused neighbours – without a word of French. Is he arranging for the spare key? Maybe he has promised Jessica in exchange for the apartment.

Alors, Jason has organised to have the ancient lock removed entirely!

The locksmith eventually saunters in and orders Simone downstairs to stand guard over his Renault, which is illegally parked on the footpath. After enduring snotty stares from the locals at the flustered foreign woman standing by the grotty vehicle, Simone eventually gives up on the locksmith’s request in a desperate bid to remind Jason of his failings as a human being. However, on the way up to the apartment Jessica has gripped on to the side of the lift and the only way she will retreat is with the bribe of a lollipop. While Simone regrets giving her cherub a sticky sweet in a confined space, she notices the coffin-sized lift is Jason’s size. She ponders on the symbolism of this.

Arriving outside the apartment, Simone steps over their opened luggage, scattered about the floor. Sawdust produced from two hours of drilling is interspersed with their belongings. Not daring to ask why her personals are on display or even for an ETA on entry into the apartment, she retreats into that special place in her head, where they would change to the hotel option: "Mr Locksmith, I believe we have made a terrible mistake and we’re actually staying at the Marriott on the Champs-Elysees."

"Oui, Madame. But let us replenish ourselves first, my lovely" says the buffed locksmith unbuttoning his shirt and setting out wine and cheese on a picnic blanket.

ROUND TWO: Simone returns to reality and leaves the building in a flurry, taking Jessica. After power-walking the pram for an hour, she returns and notices the locksmith’s car is gone. Rushing into the building, she hears the lift descending. Just as it reaches the ground, it becomes jammed. Jason peers through the glass. Simone again considers checking in to the Marriott. But the lift wobbles and she gets butterflies at the possibility that the cord holding the lift might break. Then she remembers Jason is only 1m from the ground.

Simone hears Jason’s muffled voice through the glass: "Help!" She approaches and he’s dangling the illusive apartment keys. Simone pushes the button outside the lift; her husband returns safely to ground level.

CONGRATULATIONS Jason, Simone and Jessica you have completed your first challenge. Report back tomorrow for your next adventure.

*The names of the individuals have been changed to protect the innocent, and not so innocent.

Published in The Australian Newspaper February 2007

THERE are few places as lively, vibrant and stimulating as Paris. I’m not entirely referring to the city either as my daughter is named after the City of Light. It seems fitting that the two should meet. But if you shudder at the thought of dragging young children around vast museums, consider these tips on how to toddle around the French capital.

1. Cafe culture: Sip hot chocolate together as you watch people and dogs. Discuss, write, draw and photograph what you see. It’s never too early to cultivate the tradition of travelling with a journal, sketchbook and camera. Keep the results to create an album to cherish.

2. Water babies: The most popular water park in Paris is Aquaboulevard with its wave pool, water slides and grassy sunning area. There’s a children’s pool at Butte aux Cailles (13th arrondissement) inside a 1920s building with an art deco ceiling. From mid-July to mid-August, the Paris Plage (on the right bank, from the Louvre to Pont de Sully; on the left bank, at Port de la Gare) never fails to excite with its makeshift beach along the Seine. And if the day is too cool to get wet, watch the creatures of the sea in the aquarium at Palais de la Porte Doree Aquarium Tropical.

3. Parks and rides: Paris is full of lovely parks and gardens but my favourite is the Luxembourg (7.30am-9pm in summer; 8.15am-4.30pm in winter). With their pretty, formal gardens, marionette shows, fantastic playground, carousel, outdoor cafe, remote-controlled model boats sailing in the lake, sandpits, ponds and donkey rides, the centrally located Luxembourg Gardens are understandably popular.

The Jardin d’Acclimatation in the Bois de Boulogne is further afield but this cross between zoo and amusement park includes a children’s theatre and circus, pony club, mini railway and boats.

4. Science stuff: Parc de la Villette’s science museum, Cite des Sciences et de l’Industrie, has a section, La Cite des Enfants, which caters well to three to five-year-olds. There are hands-on activities that illuminate many aspects of science and modern technology. With the regularly changing exhibits, little ones won’t mind coming back to play with water, assembling buildings on a miniature construction site, experimenting with sound and light, manipulating robots, racing their own shadow, and superimposing their image on a landscape. There’s also a playground in a maze-like setting in the park.

5. Artists as young boys (and girls): The Pompidou Centre ensures great views from its caterpillar escalators that creep on the outside of this inside-out structure. Downstairs, the Atelier des Enfants interactive children’s gallery gives a taste of modern art as kids touch and play with the exhibits or attend a workshop. There’s also a rooftop cafe with inspiring views. If cabin fever strikes, in front of the gallery is a large plaza with street performers, including musicians, fire-eaters and artists. Nearby is one of Paris’s most beautiful churches, St Eustache. Its soaring vault ceiling is modelled on Notre Dame, and enchanting organ recitals are held at 5.30pm on Sundays. The Louvre also organises special sessions to introduce children to various aspects of art.

6. Theme parks: When your children get a bit older and discover that you didn’t take them to Euro Disney, they may be disappointed. However, I must warn you, this is a big day out. Preparation is the key to success here: head straight for Fantasyland, which caters well to little ones.

Not far from the Charles de Gaulle airport, Parc Asterix, which centres on the world of Asterix the Gaul, includes six themed worlds featuring gladiators and rides.

7. Towering adventure: Everywhere you look in Paris, you are treated to a view of the lacy tower. Even the locals sigh when it sparkles with a thousand fairy lights on summer evenings. The queues are shorter at night but you still need to be prepared for a long wait. Ascent is in three stages and there are some stairs to climb, which is worth bearing in mind if you are wheeling a pram or stroller.

8. Cruising the Seine: Be treated to a tranquil view of Paris on an organised cruise or take the Batobus, a boat shuttle service that stops at eight points along the river (get on and off at leisure).

9. Churches and cones: At the end of the day, a small child’s sightseeing requirements are basic. For instance, many of the smaller churches have playgrounds. I highly recommend Ile St Louis as you stroll beside the Seine, catching the drips from a divine ice cream cone.

10. The simple life: Drop into a toy shop or visit the children’s section in a bookshop for exquisite French pop-up books. Let older children practise their school French by buying fruit at the local market or delicious pastries at the boulangerie. A trip on a bus or a train is always an adventure. A picnic in the park or by the river in summer is a delight. Why not count the gargoyles on Notre Dame or feed croissant crumbs to pigeons in a square? Buy postcards of the places you are visiting and help your children find what’s pictured.

Vietnamese girls glide by on bicycles much as willowy frames saunter along the streets of Paris. French colonial architecture stands resplendent in Siem Reap and the sultry streets of Saigon are dotted with patisseries. The tree lined boulevards of Hanoi are centred around Hoan Kiem Lake while the River Seine snakes through the City of Light.

The word Indochina came about with the French colonisation of Vietnam which soon expanded into surrounding regions, and most predominantly into Cambodia and Laos. Ho Chi Minh City, formerly Saigon, is known as the Paris of the Orient. If it weren’t for the French, the temples of Angkor would be in disrepair and the thriving town of Siem Reap may still be a village. Although Vietnam and Cambodia have regained control of their own countries, a French essence lingers, particularly in the cuisine which includes over 500 traditional dishes.

The average domestic French kitchen is a rustic affair; just as an Asian kitchen contains little more than a wok, steamer, stockpot, and a mortar and pestle. Storage space is usually limited, so fresh produce is bought daily from markets and speciality shops. It’s fortuitous that France, Vietnam and Cambodia have agricultural economies to support the fresh seasonal ingredients integral to their cuisines. It seems that every person you meet has a family member who is an outstanding cook.

Hot, sour, salty, and sweet are the four elements of taste integral to Vietnamese cuisine and the starting point for any dish, which are then combined with rice, vegetables, poultry or seafood, and with meat used more sparingly. Although these are the basic ingredients of most Asian dishes, the French influence is evident from the use of dill, sweet marjoram, lemon balm, and pickled vegetables and limes.

The three main regions of Vietnam include the north, centre and south. Ho Chi Minh is the commercial hub which leaves the official capital of Hanoi in the north to a more languid and provincial atmosphere, and a simpler cooking style, which includes the renowned Pho. Based on stock, which is the foundation of French savoury food, Pho is a noodle soup with a distinctive star anise fragrance. The north is also known for its rather macabre sounding delicacies like dog, duck blood soup, balut (semi-incubated duck’s eggs and watch out for the bits of beak and feather), beating snake’s heart in rice wine, shrimp paste with pig uterus, roasted chicken feet, bat, and snails cooked in fish sauce. Not entirely a far cry from the elusive truffle, foie gras, or offal, both cultures spend a significant amount of their salaries on food, with the biggest splurges on these indulgences.

The slender centre of Vietnam includes the UNESCO World Heritage Sites of Hue and Hoi An. The former Imperial Hue is known for its flamboyant banquets decreed by the emperor during the Nguyen Dynasty to never eat the same dish in the same year. Royal cooks were forced to be innovative and creative in their approach and hence the Hue cuisine was developed into many small dishes, much like canapés. Hoi An was a 19^th century international trading port and has remained virtually untouched for the last 200 years, and after an evening of strolling its lantern-lit streets, visitors are left with a rather romantic notion of how life was back then. It’s Chinese, Japanese and colonial architecture attracts acclaim and with the influx of tourists the town offers a thriving market, many charming cafes, and cooking classes.

Dalat is in the southern central region and has the most fertile land in Vietnam and is where rocket, basil, thyme, rosemary, artichoke, pumpkin, cabbage, cauliflower, potatoes, onions, and lettuce flourishes. These ingredients could be the makings of any French dish and it’s hardly surprising this region supplies its premium fresh produce to many of the country’s top restaurants. The French also introduced coffee to the central highlands of Dalat and the most common variety is Robusta. The strong, smooth and heady flavour hovers in cafes; the most European of traditions.

The spicy south is known for its heat and has an obvious French persuasion which is evident from its use of ingredients like white potatoes, asparagus and baguettes. The south is also influenced by the neighbouring Thai culture particularly with its use of spice, sugar and leafy greens. The frenetic pace translates to its curries and soups, and beef and pumpkin are more common in this region.

Starch anchors any Asian dish which is incomplete without rice or noodles. In fact the East introduced rice, noodles, and pasta into France hundreds of years ago. In Asian cuisine rice as an accompaniment plays the same role as bread does in many European dishes; however pasta and risotto are a very big part of the French diet. Rice is also used as an ingredient in drinks (choum in Vietnam), bread, vermicelli noodles, rice crackers, and rice wrappers. And enlivened with spices, herbs and aromatics the results with rice can be subtle and sophisticated.

Cambodia in particular relies heavily on its rice-growing, market gardening, fruit growth and fishing not only for its cuisine, but also for its economy. Agriculture feeds the population and lines its pockets, and although Cambodia’s per capita income is lower than most neighbouring countries, the streets of Siem Reap are lined with the wealth of food. Khmer cuisine is the term used for Cambodian food, which has a lot in common with Vietnam and as a result with French cuisine. Baguettes are often filled with pate or tinned fish, and many of the same spices also found in Vietnamese food. Another gift from the French is pate chaud, a French inspired meat-filled flaky pastry and baguettes are often dipped into stews and curries. Flans are a common dessert and often enjoyed with caramel sauce. Siem Reap hosts several authentic French restaurants reminiscent of the bistros of Montmartre in the 1950’s where imported cheese and wines, and charcuterie predominant the menu.

The French, Vietnamese and Cambodians are fearless in their approach to eating. Every part of the animal is utilised, including all the organs and the blood, and nothing is wasted. For example, undeveloped eggs are used in stir-fries, pigs’ snouts and ears are crunched on, the Cambodians deep-fry tarantulas and the heads of pig is used to make brawn.

A mini Eiffel Tower twinkles in a cafe in Ho Chi Minh, a city named after a man who among other things was a classically trained culinarian. Horns compete to be heard over each other and it’s like the city has given birth to a million horns and all the newborns are crying at once to be fed. They won’t go hungry in a country where food is as integral as its tumultuous past. In amongst the madness, much of Vietnam’s and Cambodia’s beauty is hidden and just out of reach on a fleeting visit. Seductive as huge almond eyes peering from beneath her conical hat. She lingers in the aromas and her captives are merciless under the spell of her mysterious charms.

THE BLUE STAR OF FREMANTLE

Fedora tipped over blue

Seductive plucking of tune

Street-side superstar

Freo presents Ivan Zar

In amongst the throng of bohemians languishing along Fremantle’s capuccino strip, I’m immediately drawn to the man sporting a suit and fedora in mid-night blue. Oozing 1960’s glamour evocative of the Cuban time warp, I learn his name is Ivan Zar. A master of blues, the haromonica, and his unique metallic slide guitar, his style is gutsy yet unassuming. Influenced by those he supported, Zar has run with musical giants the likes of B.B. King, Joe Cocker, Tina Turner and Mick Jagger. I ask to photograph him and he obliges with a heart-felt ballad. The performance ends with him warmly pressing his business card into my hand. And so I float away to join the doe-eyed groupie parade.

FACES OF FREMANTLE

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Embrace the silly season with any of the following 10 gifts and your generosity, or there lack of in some instances, will be long remembered after the Xmas tree has been packed away.

1. For the man who loves a bit of bling, get him into these Samurai inspired underpants. http://www.sido-collection.com/shop/ ¥9,240 – ¥8,085

photo courtesy of http://www.sido-collection.com/shop/index.php/samurai/2nd-generation-samurai-underwear/nk-on.html

2. Although debatable about its effectiveness against those infectious nasties, fashionistas with a germ phobia have declared the surgical face mask as their own with these fun designs. Available from http://www.samiraboon.com/wawcs0116336/masks.html

photo courtesy of http://www.samiraboon.com/wawcs0116336/masks.htm

3. For the cheap-sake wanting to entice or discourage their lover, these Anatomical Heart Cards provide a personalised creepy approach to the festive season. Use the template below and go to http://www.cheekymagpie.com/?p=500 for inspiration.

4. Don’t forget to place your meat order at your favourite butchers so you too can design your own meat ensemble to rival Lady Gaga.

photo courtesy of Huffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/09/13/lady-gagas-meat-dress-photos_n_714117.html#144466 

5. For the family member in search of eternal youth but can’t afford the surgery, then why not try Mister RinkillOFF. This electric wrinkle remover will circulate those wrinkles right off, and quite possibly an essential layer of skin, with just the push of a button for only $298.00. Available from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lw6VB658UgY&feature=related

6. For the heiress who has it all, this $3 million iphone has a casing of 271 grams of 22ct solid gold with almost 200 diamonds and a whopping diamond as the front navigation button. Also suitable for lothario’s channelling Shane Warne – guaranteed to give sexting a touch of class. Available from http://stuarthughes.com/newdawn/product_info.php?products_id=57

photo courtesy of http://www.redmondpie.com/the-3-million-dollar-iphone-3gs-supreme-9140152/

7. The flashy heiress will need somewhere to carry her fancy iphone and this Ginza Tanaka handbag rumoured to cost up to $2 million and encrusted with over 2,000 diamonds should do the trick. You’ll get your money’s worth since the handle can be removed and worn as a necklace. www.ginzatanaka.co.jp

photo courtesy of http://www.blavish.com/ginza-tanakas-19-million-handbag-up-for-sale/

8. For the overworked household: Hire a hot hubby to fix all those outstanding maintenance jobs. Getting those annoying chores out of the way while making hubby feel inadequate is guaranteed to please any resentful wife; not to mention the added eye-candy perk. Prices vary and go to http://www.hireahubby.com.au/

photo courtesy of www.hireahubby.com.au

9. For the bratty teenager who’s been begging for a canine friend since birth, why not rent a dog and then when they get tired of the responsibility send the pooch on its way. Check out www.barkshanghai.com

photo courtesy of  http://www.barkshanghai.com/Rent-a-dog-pet-in-shanghai.html

10. For the scorned wife, use Tiger Woods’ preferred golf clubs Nike, and opt for the Forged blade Iron for maximum victory on or off the golf course. Prices start at $1000 AUD http://golfonline.com.au/irons.htm

photo courtesy of http://www.tgw.com/customer/search2.jsp?scid=1092&search2=*KEYWORDS*Nike+Forged+Blades+Irons+%283-PW%29&a1103=blade&a1142=%233-pw&limitmfr=NIKE

Put your breast foot forward with Perth-based Breastique Art and embark on a “one of a kind” workshop in support of Breast Cancer Care Western Australia. Canvases are adorned with breasts and paint as participants frolic in various degrees of undress to create unique works of art. The Breastique Art workshops are liberating, fun and a little risque. It’s an intimate moment as each woman disrobes in her own time, and the instant she pulls her breasts away from the canvas is magical. Just like her Mexican sister Pintadita a tu Salud, Breastique Art is experimenting with food based paints to produce a more varied finish than acrylics: the finish can be finer, more textured, and is sympathetic to the simplicity of the process; getting back to basics is what it’s all about.

Contact Breastique Art to arrange your own workshop and read Breast out west for more jiggly giggles.

Read the full article in Cravings Summer issue “Eating by colour”